You’re a slob and I love you for it

I beith a slob

Oh ya just a big old messy slob

Get this

I take my shirt off take my pants off

Ball up my socks kick off my shoes send that shit off like a rocket to the other side of my mid-sized room

My sheets these sheets have not been washed or changed weekly covered in layers of cat hair, sweat, and dried stale cum produced both foreign and domestically with no tariff

Papers a frenzy

Bathroom in disorder

According to Dr. Funkenstein, I have a soul

Cuz there’s a ring around my bathtub

No bag in the trashcan that’s overflowing

Those towels hanging up are on the rack have already been used, and I did the weird butt floss thing

But between Me the writer you the reader nobody else is knowing

Now that I got you here lets light up a cigarette and ash on the bathroom rug

Put the butts in the toilet

Oh fuck something is floating in there cuz I never flush

Once the ashes have polluted the small space that is the lavatory

Let’s take a tour of the living room and sit on the couch

Oh, look you see that over yonder??

It’s understood if you don’t recognize that thing that’s rolling across the brown-stained carpet

Ever seen an old western movie with the tumbleweed rolling betwixt the antagonist and protagonist

That there

That you see is the same thing

But its garbage filth

Because I’m a slob and I love it