No More Mr. Nice Guy

Stand up for yourself, GODDAMMIT!

In terms of dating and relationships, the term “Nice Guy” is a bit of a touchy subject. While men claim nice guys always finish last, and thus get no ass, if you ask some women what they think of “Nice Guys” they will say they’re closeted misogynists.

Look… FUCK ALL THAT NOISE. This post is not going to be purely about dating; I just had to say that to get you in here. Let me tell you something: You are probably the nicest guy in recorded history, you let people talk and finish their points without interrupting, you always have a smile on your face to anyone who needs it, you always respond quickly to any message that comes on your phone. It feels so good being morally superior to everyone doesn’t it?

Well you know what has been discovered?

NOBODY GIVES A FLYING, FIRE-BREATHING, BLUEBERRY FLAVORED FUCK HOW NICE YOU ARE!

In fact the nicer you are the more the insidious urge for humans to treat you like dirt. You can be as morally upright as Mr.Rogers if you want to, but I guarantee you even he had that dawg in him. Speaking for myself I’ve reached my limit of nice behavior. I sit upon my throne of moral superiority and judge the wickedness of people inside of my glass castle. You know what sucks about living in a glass castle? People notice its made of glass and take turns trying to shatter it, and I for one am done being some victim of how mean people are, sitting and crying about how…